


Second chances

by Midnight1890



Category: Team Fortress 2
Genre: Angst, Bipolar Disorder, Dungeons & Dragons 5th Edition, Explicit Language, Fade to Black, Flashbacks, Fluff and Angst, Game of Thrones References, Grey's Anatomy References, Implied Sexual Content, Love Confessions, Love Triangles, M/M, Medical Inaccuracies, Medical Procedures, Multiple Personalities, Tags Are Hard, The Author Regrets Nothing, Unrequited Love, World War II, poor scout, poor spy, whoops
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-03
Updated: 2018-01-11
Packaged: 2019-02-27 17:16:53
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 4
Words: 9,276
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13252893
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Midnight1890/pseuds/Midnight1890
Summary: Previously called : The risk and the Heart.Awkward love triangle as both Spy and Medic compete for Sniper's love and attention until shit hits the fan.Side note: I do not claim to know anything about multiple personality or Bipolar disorders, nor did I live through World War 2. I am not an expert, and I don't mean to offend.





	1. Bush Medicine

**Author's Note:**

> This is my cheesy little love story that I did with little to no sleep, so sorry about any typo's

The young blonde-haired man? Boy? The curly, black haired man wasn’t sure. He just knew the young Bostonian was trying desperately to show the Australian assassin some stupid stunt that was going to land him in Medic’s infirmary with a broken arm or leg, again.

The assassin, still in his early twenties understood the need to impress his friends, or appear older than he was… sort of, his pale skin, sharp turquoise eyes, quiet demeanor and stoic features commanded an amount of respect from his peers, and he had never been a rambunctious kid, or even too much of a hassle of a teenager.  Adventurous and curious and always experimenting with new ideas, sure, but he had always been calm and collected. He knew his place in the social hierarchy, but he also knew what he needed from his companions, getting most of the angsty teenager out with friends and equally lusty boyfriends and girlfriends in highschool and into the first few years of collage. Now finishing up his primary school in his spare time, thanks to online school, he was budgeting out how he was going to go into medical school the following year. He knew he could still do it online so that wasn’t an issue, neither was paying for it.  He was an assassin, a good one at that, and if someone is willing to pay for a murder, they’re willing to pay a lot more than minimum wage.

Most of his side clients were taken aback at his age, but once the Sniper had proved himself to them, his age turned to his, and their, advantage, since he had many more years they could still call on him.

As for his full time job, he enjoyed the steady, reliable pay, three meals a day and a small circle of like minded companions.  He would prefer to work alone but their companionship and aid had proven useful to him more than once.

Especially with the Medic. He was knowledgeable and his years were starting to catch up to him, so he was in a good position to take an intern student on.  Of course it was it was an uneasy alliance and young yet.  Sniper spent most of his time with Medic sorting paperwork or splinting Scout’s broken limbs, but patience was a virtue Sniper had plenty of and he knew Medic was acutely aware that he looked like he was in his mid-thirties, but his life was suspended in a fragile balance between time and the workings of a madman.

Like everyone else on the team, the Doctor weirded Sniper out, a lot. Sniper got the idea he had some bipolarism or multiple personality med laying around that he chose not to take for some reason, since one second the man was sweet and gentle and wouldn’t hurt a fly. Next he was berating, yelling at and criticizing every little thing that anyone would do. The next he would get quite, shy, reserved and introverted, even timid. However the truly terrifying one was the one where the nearest living thing became his new plaything, and would be subject to live dissections and other horrid, psychotic things that Sniper shuddered to even try and imagine.

But Sniper had noticed that Doctor mellowed significantly since he had come around, and staying in the more quiet and timid mindset, letting Sniper do his homework, exams or applications in peace. Allowing Sniper to come to him with questions rather than barging in, which was both a blessing and a curse, since Sniper knew he wasn’t going to be subject to dissections he felt safe around Medic and he was always very patient with his questions no matter how idiotic. On the other hand, sometimes he had no idea on how even to phrase his questions and sometimes without the chattering Medic did with himself and his birds it seemed very empty, and upon occasion without the anxiety of being snapped at, Sniper would drift off and wake up in either Medic’s quarters, or sometimes his own van if Medic wanted to be alone.

As for the moment Sniper was trying to go pay Medic a vist having just gotten confirmation he was getting into med school and he needed someone who would understand his excitement. Abandoning his computer in Spy’s quarters but not really caring. Spy could go digging through Sniper’s stuff and not learn anything new other than what he spent his free time googling or his netflix que. Even then Spy knew most of it having spent a good much of his time with Sniper laughing at him for googling crazy hypotheticals, or watching cat videos, or fan-girling over the newest season of stranger things or whatever. Even so, Spy knew everything, About everyone,

More important at the time though Scout had pounced on him in transition and was prodding at him, with the thought of the cause of his internal excitement.  Under his skin it was annoying.  He just wanted to be left to do his own thing for once.

“Watch! Watch!” Scout insisted, Sniper rolled his eyes

“Grow up a little will ya?” He growled

“I just want to show you--” Scout ‘asked’ again

“Later.” Sniper said flatly turning down the corridor to the infirmary.

“Aww going to visit your boyfriend?” Scout couldn’t help but jeer, and Sniper paused, almost turning around.

“He’s not my boyfriend.  He’s my teacher. Though I guess that be hard to tell the difference from someone who can’t even read.” Sniper said flatly and Scout froze for a moment stunned by the aggression.

Scout looked hurt, but Sniper knew it was true, kid had flunked out of middle school and had spent his time butting heads with his 6 older brothers and 7 older sister.

Scout was the runt of the litter, always had been, he had come out and took this job to try and make something of himself, to show the world that he was good for something. Of course the rest of the men on the team were older and knew what their talents were, and knew how to command respect from one another. They had practice. Scout, who didn’t know any of his talents other than running, was a tangled web of hormones and confusion, was often trampled underfoot at their curt ‘I’m in charge of you’ attitude and struggled to keep up, but was determined to learn quickly all the same. Taking minor victories such as coming to terms about his sexuality and fueling himself with it, he was still runt of the litter now sure, but someday…

But Scout knew he had lost this battle and it finally got through that maybe Sniper wanted to be left alone for a while, the comment rammed home more than Sniper would, could ever know. He ignored his vision becoming blurry and he did the one thing he knew how to, run.

Sniper stared after him for a moment, he didn’t like being mean to the kid, but had learned from Sniper’s father that sometimes it took small acts of cruelty to get through a teenagers thick skull.

Sniper then turned and stalked into the infirmary. The Medic was standing over a desk eyes perusing a document.

“Sniper.” Medic greeted him fondly without looking up “Hear from the board yet?” Sniper nodded even though Medic couldn’t see it.

“I start next semester.” He said subconsciously puffing his chest proudly. Medic straightened and looked at him for the first time, a small smile flickering across his weary face, and his deep gray eyes sparking with life for just a moment.

“Zhat’s great! Vhen are you leaving?” Sniper shook his head,

“Doing it online from home.” He explained “I like living on my own, being paid and fed.” He offered “Besides classrooms bore me to tears.” Medic chuckled and led the taller man to a door on the other side of the room.

“Like a more hands-on experience ja?” Sniper smiled

“So long as I’m not the demonstration.” Medic huffed, amused at the jab. He opened the door, it opened to a small side room with paper floating around the air thanks to the tiny fans scattered around, a few stacks of neatly place sheets were scattered around the tables and against one of the walls was a chalkboard powdered in chicken scratch.

“Vhen I vent” Medic reminisced even though he was pretty sure Sniper was only half listening snatching a sheet out of the air and scanning the label of the document with bright turquoise eyes now out of habit more than necessity. “You had to be a zird year to visit the hospital, zhat still true?” He asked and Sniper raised his gaze from the label for a minute

“I think so.” The marksmen responded setting the paper in one of the organized stack of sheets.

“My helping you, von’t prevent you from obtaining your license vill it?” Sniper pondered for a moment before shaking his head.

“Doubt it, but I won’t go bragging about it or anything. Anyways, it could be an early internship.” He mused.

“If you zink so.” Medic than busied himself with sifting through papers. Sniper approached and leaned his back against the edge of the desk a short distance away from him, arms folded over his chest and legs crossed he stared at the chalkboards across the room for a moment trying to decipher them before uncrossing his hands and stretching them out onto the desk. The office was calm, Sniper spent most of his ‘professional’ time with Medic here, learning to translate some German phrases, sorting through Medic mad ramblings he had written down frantically in the middle of the night, studying Medic’s old textbooks or just lounging if he needed a quiet place to rest without disturbance.

Sniper reached out to one of Medic’s hands that happened to be unoccupied and twined their fingers together. Medic paused for a moment in surprise but didn’t comment. Before Sniper had been Medic’s apprentice they had been friends, and before that even, lovers. Sniper liked what they had, affectionate and loving when they were together but no real commitment, it gave him the freedom to choose his company, if Medic was in the middle of a mad brainstorm or if he was in one of his *moods* Sniper had the freedom to roam. But if he wanted to try some crazy thing that probably wouldn’t work but he wanted to try it anyways, or if he wanted to sit and watch Grey's Anatomy through the critical lens. Doctor Medic was his man. It was clean, painless and it gave everyone what they needed.

“So Doc.” He said after a few long, comfortable moments. “About tonight…” Medic raised his head at the seeming sudden change of subjects, not having known Sniper had transitioned to more pleasant thoughts than schooling

“Do I need to take a second one before…?” Medic asked more of a breath than a question. Sure he had been a young man at the start of the second world war and a child during the first, and his years were catching up to him but that wasn’t the issue. Since Sniper was alright and even enthusiastic about trying new things so long as his two rules of 1) everything stays where it's supposed to, 2) no incisions, were followed, he was alright with whatever Medic was up for, and prior to him regularly taking his all-day multiple personality meds, he had taken a more spontaneous med to help him controlling the swings. Not as powerful and nullifying to the others but it did the job, Medic feared that at some point he might flip his shit, whether or not they were together was irrelevant, most of the mad ramblings he did before he was totally rendered out of control he’d lock himself in his office with nothing but Archimedes and his notes to tempt the insanity. But if he was away from his safety net he wasn’t sure what he was going to do. Sniper promised Medic that he wouldn’t let him do something he’d regret. But all the same, he was grateful for those damn meds

The man was insane but Sniper’s undivided attention was among the few scenarios he felt like a human being instead of an insane doctor who wanted to brutally vivisect everyone just for the hell of it. He knew the Sniper’s body and attention was being split with at least one other regularly if not the whole team, save maybe Pyro and Scout. So Medic was acutely aware that the time the marksman spent with the Medic was a choice. He didn’t have to be there yet he chose to be anyways, if he wanted something more stable than Medic’s massive mood swings, then he could look anywhere else for it. Yet he chose to spend time with Doctor Ludwing, despite his flaws. Medic knew this and therefore treated this time as one would treat something very fragile and dear to them, and took great pains to not fuck it up.

“Well no, just wanted to ask if you had taken your normal meds today.” Sniper said after a pause, meeting his steely grey eyes and seemed to scry for an answer.

“I did.” Medic responded truthfully, running a large hand over Sniper’s facial features. Sniper adjusted so he faced Medic more evenly and so his legs uncrossed, gently disconnecting their fingers, and closed his eyes offering himself in a way. Letting Medic make the first advances.

These began with the recapture of the marksman's palm, moving his other hand off his face and onto his chest, settling his own face next to it. Listening to rhythmic yet struggling beating of Sniper’s malformed heart and the inhale and exhale of his lungs and he knew if he really listened for long enough he could hear slight movements in his intestines or stomach. It was a weird thing but the clockwork mechanisms working as they should was relaxing to him, Sniper snorted in amusement then the Australian ran a hand  through his lover’s graying hair.

“I offer the reins and all you ask of me is cuddles.” He teased lightly, Medic nodded. Sniper hummed happily and relaxed into the affection.

Medic knew that he and the Sniper we're not together, he wished they were, he was envious of the others because of the attention they got. He wished to a god who abandoned him when his first husband died during the second world war.

He slammed his eyes shut as the memory flooded back to him. _Medic saw only the pillar of fire that was so tall it licked at the heavens. Its fuel. Skeletal corpses who never woke from their bunks, small figures of children who were gassed. The shambles of the once city now in ruins. He gently brought his husband back, away from_ them, _away from those who were hurting him. Together they had survived starvation, the march from Auschwitz, the stars, the tattoos that marked them as homosexual jewish _ freaks _. Forever they would bear that shame. They had survived the ghettos, they had survived kristallnacht, they had survived nearly being gassed twice by slipping into the other set of jews who were transferring. Together they had been within months of Medic fleeing, running and running until he collapsed in a street in somewhere he didn’t know. Yet his husband hadn’t made it. He had insisted that it was his turn to fast so Medic could have both of their measly portions, despite his protests, Medic had done it. The love of his life didn’t have the ability to heal from the day before without those few hundred calories they had lived off of for years now._

 _He never woke up from his separate bunk. It had been Medic’s task to take him to the crematorium or risk the body being desecrated. He was beat for being late. He was beat for staring too long at the colosseum of flame that consumed his last remaining humanity. His love was dead, Ludwing was told that if he didn’t report to first shift on time, he would join his husband in death. He wanted to then._ He wanted to now, he felt his heartstring pull painfully in his chest as he admitted to himself, he wanted to love Sniper, he wanted to so much it hurt.

But the black ink on the crest of his shoulder still stung when he thought about it. He was a _freak_ . He was a _homosexual_ , jewish _freak_ , he always had been, even though he went for years without looking sideways at another man, even though he lost all faith in the god who abandoned him when he needed it most. Yet with the marksman he felt he could be himself, Sniper had always soothed him whenever he was anxious. He made him feel like a human for the first time in a hundred years.

He thought all of this, he wanted to find some courage to tell the marksman how much he _loved_ him. He wanted to feel that permanence in a partner again, yet he couldn’t.  His terror consumed him so, even when Sniper nuzzled into his lover’s hair and murmured soft comforts, sensing the panic. Even listening to the sounds of the Sniper’s body working, even knowing how much the Sniper loved hearing him be passionate about his work.

He said nothing.

Yet he heard Sniper’s heart skip a beat and him take a breath in very suddenly.

He knew.


	2. Speeding bullet.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Scout's turn to put Sniper in a hella awkward position.

_ Alright Scout you can do this. _ The young bostonian encouraged himself as Sniper and Medic slipped into the mess hall together, talking quietly. It was their first day of the weekend and everyone was in a cheerful mood. Sniper looked relaxed, he was in a good mood. Scout concluded watching through shimmering hazel eyes.  _ Good. Today’s the day.  _ He soothed his now jumpy nerves.  _ You’re going to knock this out of the park.  _ The pair slumped down at a space in the table leaving enough a gap for another person between Sniper’s unoccupied flank and Scout. Medic giggled at a comment Sniper made through a breath as he flopped into his seat.

“Hurt too much today?” Medic mumbled, and Sniper cracked a smile and shook his head.

“Naw more tired than anything.” He reassured him professionally reciprocating the affectionate gestures Medic gave him.

“Good, good, zought I killed you.”

“Psssh.” Sniper grunted, took a bite of his burrito, but fell into a semi-awkward silence when scout slid, smoothly to Sniper’s open flank.

“Heeeey, Snip.” Scout had decided not to call him ‘kiwi’ as Pauling did since it sounded more like an inside joke, as Scout had reasoned that he was 69% sure Kiwi birds were from New Zealand.

Sniper didn’t say anything around his bite but grunted acknowledgement and met Scout’s hazel gaze.

“Me and you. After breakfast. Talking…” Sniper stared blankly at him seeming to try and process “Yeeeeeah?” Sniper nodded in agreement, seeming to take a mental note and turned his attention to Spy who motioned Scout to give him space on the now mostly occupied tables and Scout, knowing he had no power against the more stoic male, knowing damn well his father could trample him with a single glance.but a tiny curve to a friendly smile greeted him instead so he retreated appreciating the friendly acknowledgement. It was improvement.

Scout also chose to ignore the shameless flirting between the trio. Sniper’s leaning into Medic flank, while Spy playfully held grapes out of reach of Sniper, until the marksman unceremoniously snatched the grapes from Spy’s deft fingers with his teeth with lightning fast reflexes sending playful laughter between the trio and some of the others in the group. Yet Scout didn’t mind, the careless flirting with Sniper would change after today.

A half-hour of cheery morning routines came and went and most everyone had cleared and Sniper sent his two playmates to go join the weekend activities. Once they went Sniper shifted his gaze, to Scout’s pleading, anxious eyes.

Sniper adjusted so he fully faced the younger man, crossing his legs.

“What’s up?”  He asked calmly, though his gaze suggested laziness, perhaps a preference to be with his companions but for now, Scout had his undivided attention.

“Look, I know this may come as a surprise to you but…” Scout trailed off, absorbed for a moment in Sniper’s gorgeous, turquoise eyes and stopped thinking for a moment and lost himself in all that he was attracted to in Sniper.

He was quiet, sure, but he was sweet and never mean just to be mean. Even in Scout’s most annoying, Sniper had never pulled that he got more love from Spy than Scout ever would. Or that Scout would never be officially acknowledged as Spy’s illegitimate son. He was an accident. Scout was alright with that however, he didn’t want to acknowledge Spy as his father, so cold shoulders were alright, but to have someone else point it out hurt more than it should. For the most part unless catching him at a really bad time he was patient with Scout and Pyro’s energy and included Scout in most, age-appropriate, conversations he had.

Scout didn’t know half as much about the quiet marksman as Spy or Medic did. But he’d like that, as new crush was, he had grown into it, it was a strong attraction, one not lightly shaken off.

Sniper raised an eyebrow in worry at Scout’s sudden silence but was patient as Scout recollected.

“I really, really like you…” He finally continued after a moment more of admiration. He had to resist a hoot of laughter as Sniper’s cool, expression dropped to one of shock.

“Scout…. I…” He started trying to wrap his head around the new development.

“I don’t care if you don’t reciprocate them at all. I just wanted you to know.” Scout said letting nerves overtake him and rising to leave. Sniper gripped Scout’s wrist sending warmth up his arm to his face.

“Now hold on kiddo, you’re not gonna stick around and hear your answer?” Sniper pulled him back down. Settling back down after a moment seeming to try and phrase his next words carefully meeting Scout’s eyes and seeming to gaze into his soul. Scout decided to do something stupid, bowing to his immaturity. He broke himself free of Sniper’s grip and cupped his face. And pressed his lips to Sniper’s own. Sniper let out a choked yelp that was cut off at the contact. He sat stone still for a moment and just as Scout was about to pull away he very carefully reciprocated most certainly not for himself, not letting it escalate to a full make-out but allowing Scout to explore just a little, to allow Scout to differentiate between the fantasy he had built for himself, versus the reality of it.

Scout had been with girls in the past and this was far from his first kiss ever, but it was certainly the first he had with a man. His heart pounded in his ears and was grateful that Sniper pulled away from him before it got awkward. He had to give Sniper credit, he was certainly experienced for never leaving his van except to work.

“Look I’m sorry for all the dumb shit I’ve done to annoy you, I just wanted to get your attention, I’ve been trying really hard to work on not saying things that aren’t appropriate at the time I blurt them out. I’m trying really, really hard to be more careful so I don’t end up in the infirmary so much.” He blurted while Sniper paused to think some more.

Sniper sighed, “God, I’m sorry.” Scout flinched

“What for? It’s my fault.” Sniper shook his head,

“Scout you are a great friend and have helped cheer me up with your energy more than once even if I don’t say it. It’s just…” He paused and considered his words, “I’m just not into you like that. I’d be more than happy to help you, and give you advice, as you get older and find someone who can give you what you need, but I can’t be that person for you, and anyways, you deserve someone better than me.” He tried to say it gently and he certainly didn’t crush him, and Scout certainly hadn’t lied when he said he was okay if he didn’t feel the same. 

He also certainly wasn’t upset that Sniper had responded to Scout’s kiss. It was much better than just staring at him funny and it gave him an inkling of what to expect from a person instead of assuming it was always like the movies where personal bubbles didn’t exist. Besides it was probably just an automatic response to the advance had the flirting with the other two support mercenaries had not deceived him.

“Okay…” He paused and tried not to sound accusatory but eventually said “But what’s the difference between me and Spy or Medic?” Sniper sighed,

“Because they can give me what I need, and besides I don’t want to set you up for failure by expecting you to be either of them when you’re not them, you’re you, and you should be received as you, not as anyone else.” Sniper explained carefully not being condescending but also not using explicit terms that might not be appropriate to discuss with him.

“I’m 19! What can they give you that I can’t?” Scout retorted without thinking. Sniper stared at him flatly.

“I’m just into older guys, alright? It’s a personal preference, nothing against you.” Scout, still not catching on failed to keep his first thoughts from slipping out

“Okay I don’t have Erectile Dysfunction, I don’t see the problem.” He barely kept the snap out of his voice and breathed deeply trying to reign himself in. “Please elaborate.” He said after a moment.”

Sniper almost looked amused at the comment, “That’s not what I’m saying.” It dawned slowly on Scout

“You don’t know what I’m capable of!” He defended himself, “I can be anything you want me to be.”

“Scout.” Sniper soothed but firmly set the bar. Scout sighed,

“Sorry.”

“It’s alright. Not your fault.” He watched as Scout stood.

“Just thought you should know.” Scout said turning away to go find Pyro.

“I’m sorry.” Sniper said to him as he retreated

“No you’re not.” Scout mumbled under his breath, pushing the bitterness aside, Sniper got a choice too after all, Scout couldn’t begrudge him that.

Of course Sniper’s sharp ears caught the comment, “I am.” but he let it drop. Scout pushed past the door leaving Sniper to his own thoughts as the marksman stared after the young man.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yup. Sniper tried not to reject him and he tried it but it just wasn't gonna happen.  
> Sorry Scout.


	3. Spyper

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Now Sniper spends some time with Spy, helping talk him into doing dumb things and letting Spy enjoy it a little.
> 
>  
> 
> Spy does talk about his sex life with Sniper a lot, so be prepared.

Later in the week Asher had gone to retrieve his computer from the Spy’s quarters but unlike Ludwing, Arno was much more aggressive with Sniper. If Arno was offer any dominance the sapphire eyed spy took it and loved it.

Such was the case when Asher dragged Arno out of the base to play laser tag with him. Arno never one to break his shell, was repulsed at the idea at first, until it occurred to him that he could use it as an excuse to envision an idea that had been bouncing around in the assassin’s mind, and agreed, on the condition that Asher pretended to be his boyfriend for the night, Asher shocked that Arno had even considered it, happily agreed. In the game itself Asher absolutely destroyed Arno.

His young, springy body was relatively untouched by nicotine, only smoking when under unhealthy amounts of stress, such as taking his exams for his schooling, applying for medical school, and mostly when his parents had passed. Even with the damage of these events, Asher took good care of himself, getting just enough food, drinking water excetra, made him among one of the most healthy boys on the team despite having a deformation in his heart. That both Medic and Sniper said was harmless, just had to be kept an eye on, just in case.

Arno on the other hand, was just shy of being Ludwing’s age, having known the doctor since he had found the young man collapsed in the street and taking him into his relatively wealthy family, Ludwing had fled from the Nazi concentration camps and crossed the border into France, surviving because Arno had been a curious teenager, not much older than Scout at the time, and took him into his relatively empty family. Now Ludwing returned the favor by helping both of them survive well past the human average lifespan, and still be active and pull their weight. He gave them a small grasp at what immortality might taste like. Despite having the body of a man in his late 30’s he had done the exact opposite of Asher in his youth, now struggled to keep up with the surprisingly agile sharpshooter.

When Asher was winded and lightly panting for breath from the activity. Arno would be wheezing, being left behind in Asher’s tracks. Much to Asher’s amusement.

Despite this feeling of being awfully exposed without his mask or suit, instead having borrowed some of the Sniper’s lighter garments, and somewhat humiliated at being well outmatched, he found he quite enjoyed himself. Loving the random twining of their fingers, or the affectionate bumps and nuzzles and kisses.

Despite being out of his comfort zone and doing something utterly stupid and pointless, he felt alive. He young again. He felt like those times that he complained to Sniper that making love under the stars on top of Sniper’s camper van or the roof of the base or whatever saying it wasn’t cute it was super cliche yet secretly loved it.

That was one of Asher’s most attractive talents, was making an old spy feeling _alive_ and _free_ and _human_ again.

Arno found himself in love with Asher in his fullness and that feeling of finally admitting it to himself made his chest swell with a comfortable warmth, after they returned back to Arno’s true quarters he kept secret to everyone but the Sniper. Knowing that Arno’s condition was fucking Asher’s brains out, Asher suggested waiting on that until they got into the back room where there was a bed so he didn’t break his spine in the process. Arno was glad they did since Asher, now exhausted from the days activities, was curled against Arno’s belly relaxing lazily into his lover’s toned flesh. Making Arno not want to move, at all, so if they just drifted off they weren’t going to wake up with the cricks the couch would put in their bodies for sleeping on it awkwardly.

Arno tried to determine if Asher had fallen asleep by playing with his short curly hair, gently pulling up soft tufts and weaving through them with his fingers. Yet Asher showed no signs of being aware then the deepening of his breaths and a ghost of a smile, but his eyes were closed and he looked comfortable. Arno wondered if he could keep Asher here. Stop him from going to see any of his other lovers because he wanted to lay with the marksman to lay with him there forever. Arno knew he could, he could confess to the Australian, tell him how happy he made the old spy, confess that behind his seemingly prickly behavior sometimes he loved the goofball who muttered insults under his breath even though no one else could hear him. Arno could tell him he loved it when the dorky nerd went on and on about his pokemon or his Dungeons and Dragons or whatever it was that he ranted on about for hours at a time, or Arno could tell him he loved it when Asher sleep talked, he found it oddly adorable or how much Arno loved all the energy and passion Asher put into everything he did, whether it was doing the chores, humming along to the music only he could hear thanks to earbuds, or if Arno was really lucky he sometimes would do a little dance in front of the dishwasher and the laundry machine, always turning bright red and stopping if he caught Arno watching but Arno loved it, to the way he was passionate and gung-ho about sex it didn’t matter how little or how much trouble they got into, he was excited and happy to be allowed such intimacies with Arno. Or how much he loved just snuggling up to Arno with his netflix and just being okay watching bad movies with him, or even occasional throwing a french phrase at Arno if Asher was feeling confident.

Yet when Asher’s curious turquoise blue eyes met his own, he blushed and turned away. Not saying anything at all.

Yet Sniper shifted, seeming to move towards him to offer him comfort.


	4. Kiss of Death

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Time is running out and Sniper, (as well as a few others) have to make some choices

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I didn't intend the first little bit to imply sex but it can be interpreted that way so,  
> Sorry.

Sniper watched as Spy stretched and rolled onto his other side not facing the Sniper anymore. Something dawned on him as he saw the normally uptight Spy blush and refuse to meet his gaze.

“Spook…” he started heaving himself onto fours just so he could heave himself up to match the Spy’s height still curling in on himself, slightly taller than Spy. Sniper reached up and touched the side of his face lightly caressing his cheekbone under a thumb “What’s wrong?” He rumbled softly into his ear, feeling Spy flush beneath him,

“Nothing… nothing.” He reasoned rolling onto his back so he half faced the Sniper, who nuzzled into his throat,

“Sometimes you’re a horrible liar, ya know that?” came the response around soothing kisses.

“Not now I’m not.” Spy tried to get Sniper to pull away, close to breaking and blurting out how much he loved the man, but Sniper sensed this and pressed harder, enveloping Spy’s smaller body in his own so there was no running away from these very real feelings he was struggling with. “Sniper…” Sniper pressed his lips aggressively against Spy’s own, making the rest come out as a light air deprived whine. “Let it drop, please?” Sniper had gained ground and had a wolfish grin now and pressed into his ear,

“Sure as soon as I know what’s bothering ya,” He whispered the tiny growl sending shivers down Spy’s back. Spy in a last attempt to cling to his pride he gripped a patch of Sniper’s hair and nipped sharply into Sniper’s shoulder, Sniper yelped in surprise, usually only expecting teeth when they being much more sexually aggressive than this. As a response Sniper too found a spot that didn’t already have love bites on it and went to reciprocate the gesture, no blood, nothing that would hurt more than the surprise, just a small bruise to remember him by. This broke Spy

“Sniper, look, I love you okay? I love your dorkiness, I love your nerdiness I love how passionate you are about everything!...” He breathed trembling in fear now, “I never thought I could love as much as I love you…” He said finally squirming away from a shocked Sniper,

Sniper had been expecting something big but nothing like this. “Spook, I…” He looked at the trembling man panting and sweaty from their dispute. Spy looked away started to move to put the mask and the suit back on, to put his borders back up and ignore the breaking of his heart in his chest, he had wanted Sniper to love him but he should’ve known his true affections belonged to Medic. Spy found himself relax into the man’s arms nuzzling softly into his neck.

“I love you Sniper.” He said finally, the relief making him feel weightless with joy. “I don’t care if you feel the same. I just want you to know that. If you want to love Medic go do whatever makes you happy. I want that more. I just want you to know how much happiness you brought to this old Spy’s life.”

Sniper pulled away from Spy, suddenly he knew where his love lay, he had been told about Scout’s feelings about him, he had put together that  Medic held secret affection for him, and it wasn’t until he had realised Spy’s feelings for him that he learned where his loyalties went. He heard a snap and suddenly felt numb and lightheaded.

“Hey Spook…” I’m gonna go check in with the doc, don’t feel so good.” Spy paused then and looked into his eyes, his skin was pale and he was shaky. He wasn’t lying

“Be safe.” Spy asid quietly. Sniper nodded and threw on some bare minimum clothing.

Spy stared after for a moment, it wasn’t too long a walk to the infirmary but Sniper had looked paler than a ghost and shook harder than a twig in a tornado. He wondered if Sniper had gone to confess to Medic and get checked out at the same, Spy wondered if he should go with Sniper to make sure he made it there okay, he wondered if he was really okay enough with Sniper’s true affections to hear it said right in front of him.

Spy sighed and got out of bed again borrowing Sniper’s close since it was easier to slip into. He slapped on his watch as he walked through the door to his room and into his smoking room, ears perking at the sound of footsteps and moved towards it catching up with Sniper in less than a dozen strides, Sniper eyed him but kept moving

“C’mon you idiot, let’s get you to the Doctor.” Spy said curtly

“I got it.” Sniper tried to sound dignified but leaned heavily on Spy when he offered and swallowed an amount of blood that coated on his tongue.

“You know this is the nicest I’ve been to anyone, don’t waste it now.” Sniper cracked a smile but still refused being pulled off the ground. They passed Scout who stared at them suspiciously seeming to look for wounds that Spy would’ve left on a victim but there were none, as this battle took place on the inside of Sniper’s body out of sight of his friends and loved ones. Scout stared as they moved beyond him.

“What the hell do you think you are going to accomplish by following?” Sniper asked as they traversed the corridor that led to the Medic’s wing.

“Making sure you get there safe.” 

They stumbled into the lab without knocking.

“Doc? Really could use you right now.” Sniper called into the empty operating room. There was a slam at the office door.

“Leave me be.” A voice bellowed. It didn’t sound quite like the doctor. Both Spy and Sniper knew instantly what was happening.

Sniper approached the cabinets on the opposite side of the room suddenly stumbling and grabbing the operating table in a white knuckle grasp. Spy was there in an instant making sure the marksman wasn’t injured, blood now dripped out from between his lips but nothing new, Spy moved him so he rested on the operating table while calling over his shoulder

“Not a great time for this Ludwing!” Spy addressed the German by his true name hoping to reach some sane part of his childhood friend.

He calmly padded over to a cabinet ignoring the pit of pure terror he felt in the pit of his stomach, grabbed Medic’s on-the-spot meds and moved back over.

“I got something for ya.” he offered. The door swung open and Medic glared out at him a scalpel reflecting off his hands. He didn’t look like himself. His eyes were pitch black and he had the biggest wicked smile he had ever seen.

“I hope it’s your liver.” it snarled. But then stopped and said in Medic’s voice “I mean… what is it?” Spy offered them the meds and signaling to the Sniper who was coughing up a small pool of blood around his clenched hands. Before clicking a button on his watch and melding into his surroundings to offer the two as much privacy as possible without abandoning the Sniper

They ripped open the protective top and chugged a couple of the pills down and Medic held his eyes closed for a long moment before the silver eyes shined through again. He looked at Sniper fearfully, “Vhat did I do?” He asked eyes wide and scared, searching for any signs of struggle,

“Nothing.” Sniper said around his fist as he wiped away the blood “I told you I wouldn’t let you.” He continued trying to take deep breaths and stay calm. “Look doc,” He began allowing Medic to approach “I know that no matter how much you wish no one knew, I know you are so much older than you look, I know you have survived these horrible, horrible things. I know you believe you are worthless, that you are nothing but I am your friend. I am here for you. You don’t have to believe that anymore.” Medic’s eyes widened.

“Sniper, wait…” But again luck was not in Medic’s favor. Sniper collapsed onto the table. “Shit.”  He smashed a button on the Medi-gun that hung from the roof’s side that acticated it’s protective field, quickly ripping open his chest cavity, not caring how much he split, that could be fixed later, right now he had to keep Sniper alive.

Sure enough the malformation in Sniper’s heart had finally caught up, it was accidental strangling itself. Medic first saw the deformality when he went to place the uber valve, he hadn’t dared remove it then because it helped Sniper hold his breath when scoping longer, help him have more stamina to run away from things, hell it was the only reason Sniper hadn’t died on the way to the infirmary besides that he still had things to say.

The wisp of smoke solidified again into Spy.

“Will he live?” He asked cautiously. Approaching the operating table light footed. Medic sighed, and silently prayed, he knew that he was going to lose his patient but he prayed anyways, hoping that his long forgotten god took pity on him now, about to lose the man he loved most, again.

“Not without a replacement. Too many of the cells have died already.” He explained slowly.

“Do you have a backup, Ludwing?” Spy asked desperately. Medic shook his head.

“I have a baboon’s but we found zat his body rejects it as not his own vhen ve put the uber valve in him. His body couldn’t handle the stress immune suppressants put on his kidneys. It’d kill him.” He offered helplessly.

“Will he reject another human’s heart?” Spy paused, seeming to think.

“No, no, I think can genetically modify it enough that his body will accept it as his own.” Medic mused, more to himself now, seeming to have a light bulb go off in his head. Spy snarled,

“You didn’t prepare for this?!?!” Spy snapped aggressive now.

“We never thought to, it never hurt him before and we figured it wouldn’t hurt him now.” His eyes dropped from Spy’s “I know I’m a fool.” He apologized.

Spy grabbed his wrist. “Give him mine.” He demanded.

“No Spy, No I can’t--” He fumbled against him

“DO IT.” Spy ordered, eyes wide in fury “And consider us even.”

“You von’t survive.” Medic said softly, “I know you love him too but please, this make me owe you more, it should be me.”

“No. I’ll do it. You need yours to make this work. I know I won’t live” Spy released him.

“My friend…” Medic trailed off

“You don’t have time to complain just do it.” Medic nodded

“Thank you my friend. I’ll put it to good use.” he said staring at, than raising the scalpel.

“I know.” Spy closed his eyes. Not seeing the lean figure step into view

“Wait.”

  
  
  


Sniper woke up sore as hell, he was in Spy’s bed and he felt a strange pulsing in his chest, he was short on breath and struggled to understand what had happened. Medic stirred with him, reading the fantasy novel Sniper had left the last time he had stayed over.

“You’re awake.” He said hoarsely. Sniper nodded

“What happened?” his voice cracked, Medic sighed.

“Your heart gave.” Medic said closing his eyes for a moment.

“Great.” Sniper rolled his eyes, “We should’ve expected this.” He said quietly plugging in solutions

“I know.” Medic said.

“How’d I live?” He asked, Spy sitting at a small table on the other side of the room piped up

“My son.” He said calmly around a cigarette.

“Scout?” Sniper looked at Medic surprised.

“Scout adored you Sniper. He always wanted to be something like you, but he never caught your attention, he always wanted to prove himself to be something, so he gave himself to save you, since you told him to grow up, he felt that that would be how he did.” Medic explained gently.

“Wait that’s not what I--” Medic shushed him

“I know. I told him that.”

“Than why…?”

“He felt it best that way, his heart was about your same age, same size, not damaged to smoking, he was a healthy young man. He chose to give it to you.” Sniper started defeated.

“But…” He felt his stolen heart pull, “I didn’t mean for him to die.” He tried to hide tears into Medic’s side.

“I know, he did too.” He shuddered,

“Scout chose to give his life for you, he wanted you to have another chance at fulfilling your dreams of graduating Med School. He gave you this chance.  Do not squander it by filling yourself with regret.” Spy said after a moment. “I offered to, too.” He added

“Why?”

“Because you’re bright light and hope to so many people, you deserve chance to find your own, I’m old and have made my way through this world by causing pain, you blaze a trail of the opposite, you got both me and Medic and Scout to fall for you because you brought us a chance to start over again.” Spy reflected “It’s only fair we return the favor.”

“Rest now.” Medic murmmered. “We can reevaluate after you’ve rested.” Medic headed for the door giving Sniper and Spy a moment of peace together.

“I’m such an asshole, Spook, I am so sorry. I ditched you back there.” Sniper said after a pause.

“I’m just glad you’re alright.” Spy deflected, settling next to him, the Spy’s muscles were tense, he was stressed, “I knew that you didn’t feel the same, but I said it anyways, I’m just glad I got it out at all.”

“Whaddaya mean I don’t feel the same?”

“Don’t lie I know your affections lie with Medic…” Spy’s blue eyes met his now.

“No!” Sniper complained, “No, no, no! You misunderstand!” Spy raised a smokey black eyebrow. “When you confessed, I just… I realised that I loved you too but then, my heart couldn’t handle it and…” He trailed off losing himself in the sea of sapphire. Spy rested a hand on Sniper’s belly.

“I am a man who understands complicated emotions when I am not invested, you’ll notice I’m invested.” It was Spy’s complicated way of saying,  _ I know what you’re saying but you made me say it straight so it’s your turn.  _ So Sniper obliged but not before flinching at the slightly chilly, ungloved hand, not complaining because he knew that his Spook enjoyed finding smaller, less obvious nicks in his skin and running his hands over the more pronounced scars without the separation of his gloves, and since Sniper had a new vertical line of stitches down his midline, and had no shirt thanks to it, Spy saw it as a perfect opportunity to do so.

Sniper leaned up and nuzzled Spy’s collar not minding the touch once he got used to it. It took a moment but Sniper very quietly murmured “I love you Spy.” to a very pleased Spy.

Spy gently pressed Sniper back down onto the bed so he didn’t bust his new stitches. “I love you too.” and with that they lay curled together for a time not really moving, save hushed breathing, but got used to the idea that they had something more permanent now. A half hour or so passed before Spy sighed and rolled off the bed. “I’m watching Game of Thrones with or without you.” He rumbled, “I don’t want to face my sins just yet. I’ll do that over some alcohol.” Sniper understood Spy’s issue, since he had allowed Scout to sacrifice himself as well as a whole truckload of other issues the two had had in their limited exposure to one another.

“At least bring it back here.” Sniper asked getting a laugh.

“If I must.” Spy rumbled teasingly before leaving the room to recover Sniper’s computer.

Sniper sighed and rested back down on the bed. His brain tried to process this but all he could think was how many thanks he would give to Scout if he could. He struggled with people sometimes, and was an asshole from time to time, but thanks to this kid he had always overlooked and trampled on, he had another chance.

It absolutely should’ve been the other way around. He should’ve given himself for Scout. While Scout had only been two years younger than the marksman he had had so much in front of him. He was determined and adventurous. He didn’t have any felonies that could be placed on him. He was just barely discovering who he was. It wasn’t fair that he gave up every chance he would’ve had, a chance to make up with his father, a chance to find someone who loved him for who he was. But he gave that all up just to give Sniper another chance mere days after Sniper shut him down and crushed that new idea Scout had. Had turned Scout down only to take up Scout’s father.

Sure Sniper had plenty of time in front of him now too, thanks to this, he could graduate Medical school, quit this stupid fucking job and maybe settle down somewhere if Spy was willing to settle down for keeps, but both he and Spy were professional murderers, there was no getting around the fact that they took people’s lives for money. There was no getting around the fact that both Sniper and Spy had gotten used to watching someone they had never known die to their hand. It didn’t both their conscious anymore. It was something that was irredeemable, and yet.

Scout had chosen Sniper anyways.

Despite Sniper coldness to him at times. Despite shutting him down, despite calling him an immature little shit. He had still tried to grow up and mature for him. He had tried, again, to be friendly to Sniper, the day after such accusations.

Sniper had noticed and been quite impressed at the time but now, he had been impressed that Scout had been brave in face of that choice.

Sniper felt sick to his stomach, this kid, who was barely old enough to donate organs if he died of unrelated reasons, had chosen to donate one at the cost of his life, to a man who had only half-heartedly tried to be patient with him. But that had never mattered to Scout, any amount of patience Sniper had with him, had been more than he had ever received as a child, Sniper thought of what he wouldn’t give to go back and treat that man with so much more respect than he ever had. Let him show Sniper his stupid stunts, maybe it would’ve prevented a few trips to the infirmary. Maybe it would’ve let Scout think more about his choice. Maybe it would’ve let Scout change his mind. Maybe it would’ve made Spy had another reason to live, a son, than just his lover. Maybe it would’ve caused Sniper to die instead. As he should’ve.

Spy returned, but he had no computer. But Sniper didn’t even notice him walk in he was so focused on his own thoughts. Spy settled next to him,

“There’s nothing to do about it now.” Spy offered after a moment.

“Doesn’t change the fact that it should’ve been me.” Sniper grumbled turning to nuzzle into him. Shoulders shaking softly. Spy sighed,

“No it shouldn't have been. Both me and Ludwing wouldn’t have let you slip away from us.” Spy said softly, “It shouldn’t have happened at all. But if you must think someone should’ve died it should’ve been me. I shouldn’t have let an innocent take my place. Had I done it and not been such a coward in the face of death, I could maybe have repented enough to be even close to being worthy of being the sire of a young man brave enough and strong enough to give himself for someone he cared about. A young man who was so much purer than I am or even have been.” Sniper sighed and let the breath stir the Spy’s smokey black-and-gray hair.

“You are worthy of it.” Sniper said after a moment, “The fact you even considered it, the fact that you were brave enough to love again, the fact you loved him as your son, even if you didn’t admit it, you are his father and you worked really hard to be at least not a complete ass to him like I was--”

“You were nicer than I was.” Spy butted in,

“Well you mostly ignored him, if he pissed me off I wasn’t afraid to throw insults.” Spy sighed,

“This shouldn’t have happened.”

“I know.” Sniper said softly

“We should’ve been nicer.” Spy fell into a stunned silence.

Sniper was well adjusted to being fawned on by more than one individual at a time. He was a thief of hearts, but he certainly didn’t mean to be the literal embodiment of that. Especially not to Scout’s. But now he had to live with that hanging above his head, it was one thing to take the life of a stranger, quickly, cleanly, painlessly. He was just the one pulling the trigger, not the one who wanted them dead, all Sniper ever knew about his victims is what they did to piss off his client, never knew anything else.

But he got the idea a still beating heart was more valuable than a dead one, so Scout’s death had been anything but.

Sniper snarled angrily at himself he should've said and there was no way around it.

He was certainly extremely grateful to Scout for the second chance. It made him rethink the way he had treated anyone he had ever met. He knew that he was going to start being much, much nicer to people. He knew that he was always going to have a lingering regret as this was not as simple as pushing off the death of a stranger, this had been one of his friends. Someone who he had not meant to kill, yet he had done it, Medic had just been the one who did the actual deed. He bit his lip so hard it bled trying not to make any noise as he pressed his weight into Spy. Shaking and letting the tears fall out of sight.

“Arno I am so sorry about your son.” He murmmered after a moment.

The more he thought about it the more he wished Scout hadn't done it. But the more he thought about it the more he knew he had to prove that with this second chance he was going to prove, Scouts goal was not in vain.


End file.
